Posted by Ask a Manager
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/08/our-only-drinking-water-is-from-the-bathroom-starting-a-new-job-with-self-harm-scars-and-more.html
https://www.askamanager.org/?p=32322
It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…
1. Starting a new job when I have lots of old self-harm scars
I’m starting a new job in a few weeks, and I’m panicking about how to deal with self-harm scars on my arms. I’ll be working at a university, usually not student-facing but I will have some shifts on a help desk and that type of thing. I don’t make a huge effort to hide my scars at the moment (I roll my sleeves up in the summer) but I’ve never actually worn a short-sleeved top or dress at work before. I’d like to start wearing short sleeves because I run hot anyway and perimenopause is absolutely not helping there.
Looking at your answers to similar questions, I think the general consensus is that it’s okay to have visible scars at work and other people should essentially pretend not to notice! It’s obvious my scars are from self-harm but they are very old (20 years+ mostly) and fully healed. I’m not too concerned about facing actual discrimination or the legal side of things in general (and I live in the UK so the ADA isn’t a factor), but I don’t want to (a) upset other people, (b) have this be the first thing people notice about me, or (c) have any conversations about self-harm at work.
What’s the best way to navigate things? Should I wait a couple of weeks before showing my arms? Are there times when I definitely shouldn’t wear short sleeves? (Meetings with senior people, for example.) What’s the best way to respond if I’m asked about my scars or asked/told to cover them up?
If they’re pretty noticeable: I hate this answer because it shouldn’t matter, but in purely practical terms if you don’t want them to be the first thing people notice about you, yes — wait a few weeks before showing your arms. After that, though, wear what you want. You’ll be out of “the first thing people notice about you” territory.
If anyone asks you about the scars, you can just say in a slightly bored-sounding tone, “Oh, they’re old” and then change the subject. You don’t owe anyone a full explanation. And under no circumstances should an employer ask you to cover them up; these are old scars, not fresh, seeping wounds! If that happens, talk to HR (but it shouldn’t and hopefully won’t).
2. Our boss is getting rid of our water cooler and we’ll only have water from the bathroom sinks
I work for a smaller business and we rent space in a building built in the 1930s. It’s not kept up very well. Our office suite does not have a sink. The only sinks/bathrooms are in the shared hallway. The landlord is awful at keeping up the bathrooms, to the point where we didn’t have toilet paper or paper towels for nearly an entire month, which forced us to have to bring our own every time we used the bathroom. Sigh. That should tell you how much care they take in the building that they rent out.
Up until now, we’ve had a water cooler machine in the office. It’s been nice to have cold and hot clean water available. It’s pretty much been our only small perk in this entire space.
Well, my boss wants to get rid of it save costs. I get it, those subscriptions can be pricey, but there also isn’t a plan to supplement what we are losing. My question is whether that’s truly legal, in relation to OSHA laws.
Is a relatively unkept building built in 1939 really going to have potable water in the bathrooms? I doubt it. I know only water testing could answer that question, but who is going to pay for that? My boss is operating under the assumption that the bathrooms have potable water. I’ve tried to bring this up and question that assumption, but I’m simply not listened to.
And yes, I can and will bring my own water and bring my own hot water heater, etc. But, that’s not really the point. I know this is a tiny question relative to many that you get, but I’m curious as to what your thoughts are.
Employers are required to provide potable water. The question here is whether the water in the bathrooms is potable or not. I know you’re skeptical that it is, but for it to be an OSHA issue, you’d have to have something beyond “it doesn’t seem like an unkept, older building would have potable water.”
That said, an office water cooler is such a small expense that it’s a bit ridiculous that your boss is getting rid of it and relegating you to the bathroom for drinking water! Can you and your coworkers push back and ask to keep the cooler? Consider pointing out that if you have to leave the building to obtain water every time you need some, a lot of work time will be wasted.
3. Employer won’t let employee telework anymore, despite severe allergies
I am a manager at a governmental agency that has mandated return to office for all employees. I have one employee who was teleworking up to this point, but now has to come in to the office. She has severe food allergies, to the point where touching a surface or doorknob that was previously touched by someone who ate one of her allergen foods can cause her to break out in hives. The other employees have been conscious about avoiding the worst foods around her, but don’t always recognize when something contains a trigger ingredient. To try and avoid risk of anaphylaxis, I’ve switched offices with her so she is in my private office and I use the shared workspace instead.
However, it would really be best if she could return to telework. She was highly productive and responsive when teleworking, but telework is now only available through the reasonable accommodation process. She was told by the HR team that her condition (severe allergies with anaphylaxis) does not constitute a disability and therefore isn’t covered under reasonable accommodation, but this doesn’t seem right to me. How can I help this employee be safe at work and, ideally, return to telework?
What on earth? Please encourage this employee to talk to an employment lawyer for guidance, because severe allergies with anaphylaxis — i.e., compromising her ability to breathe, a major life activity — should absolutely be covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act, which covers “impairments that substantially limit one or more major life activities, such as seeing, hearing, speaking, walking, or breathing.” Your HR team is almost certainly violating the law here, and a lawyer can make that clear to them (or advise her on how to).
4. Should you stay connected on LinkedIn to people at a job you were unfairly fired from?
What’s the protocol about staying connected on LinkedIn to people from a job you’ve been (in my opinion) unfairly fired from? Would it be a bad move to sever the connection?
It’s up to you! It’s okay to disconnect from the people at that job if you want to … but it’s possible you could come to regret it in the future, if one of them is connected to a job you’re applying for or otherwise could offer networking help. If you’re absolutely sure you will never want to interact with someone again in the future, disconnect at will — but I’d be judicious in deciding who to put in that category. And if you’re unsure, err on the side of doing nothing for now; you can always change that decision in the future if you want to.
The post our only drinking water is from the bathroom, starting a new job with self-harm scars, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/08/our-only-drinking-water-is-from-the-bathroom-starting-a-new-job-with-self-harm-scars-and-more.html
https://www.askamanager.org/?p=32322
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seananmcguire_tumblr_feed at 10:20pm on 31/07/2025
