July 24th, 2025

Posted by Ask a Manager

A reader writes:

Something happened at the hairdresser that made me want to ask your take on something.

The salon I go to is co-owned by two best friends, and normally the atmosphere is amazing. Everyone’s chatting, laughing, and it feels like walking into a warm hug. That comes from the owners’ friendship and is one of the reasons I go. But on my last visit, the mood was icy. It seemed that they’d had a falling-out, and it completely changed the energy in the room. I left not wanting to go back. If others feel like me, it could hurt their business.

It made me speculate: how do workplaces manage this kind of dynamic when the job itself depends on (or is made better by) chemistry? Take news presenters or radio hosts: people tune in for the content, sure, but the vibe between hosts is a big part of the appeal. What happens when that spark fades — due to a falling out, a tough time in life, or a general shift in the relationship? They’re still technically doing the job (reading the news, being on air), but something essential feels missing.

I know that when I’ve had a tough interaction or something is draining my energy, I can take a 30-minute break from them or the task to re-set, and then I’m back at it. But people in these roles may not have that luxury.

You’ve said before that being cordial is the minimum expectation at work, but what about jobs that are quasi-dependent on visible friendship or chemistry? Can someone be performance-managed for having “less spark,” even when the core duties are being fulfilled? Is that something that could be included in a job description or used if things go south?

I’m especially thinking about full-time roles where connection is part of the job, whether explicitly or not. It feels relevant beyond just TV or radio, too — sales, customer service, even project managers in high-stakes client work.

As a manager in that situation, the best thing you can do is to define performance around the outcomes you want. The job requirement isn’t “you need to have great chemistry with your colleague,” but rather is tied into whatever it is that you’re hoping will result from that. So the goal to hold the person to might be “customers enjoy being here and find the environment warm and engaging,” or “viewers are excited to tune in and enjoy watching you interact with fellow hosts” or  “your interaction with your fellow host contributes to the appeal of the show and keeps viewers engaged” and so forth.

It’s not really about what’s in their heart, or how they feel about their colleague personally. It’s about what the work need is.

In your salon example, those are co-owners so presumably there’s no manager to intervene. But if their fall-out continues and they’re reasonably savvy businesspeople, at some point they’ll need to recognize that what’s happening between them interpersonally is affecting their business and so something needs to change, even if it’s just parting ways. (I would imagine they might conclude that eventually just for their own quality of life, as well.)

The post what if your job depends on getting along with one specific coworker? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

posted by [syndicated profile] mamohanraj_feed at 12:06am on 17/07/2025

Posted by Mary Anne Mohanraj

Got some risers, which helps with making better use of the space. I want to move the gift wrapping supplies to a different spot, so the cement pieces aren’t so crowded there. And I’m going to put down some contact paper and add some lighting, I think. But it’s better.

Posted by Medievalists.net

A major excavation at the Tower of London is uncovering rare medieval burials, artifacts, and evidence of earlier chapels beneath St Peter ad Vincula, offering new insights into the fortress’s hidden past.

Posted by Mary Anne Mohanraj

I’ve been working on my jewelry displays this week — I think they’re better now. More spaced out, all the bee-themed items are together (even the new pot!), some new display racks. Good. 🙂 Next step, putting individual prices on every piece, so I can differentiate them a bit more.
posted by [syndicated profile] mamohanraj_feed at 05:03pm on 14/07/2025

Posted by Mary Anne Mohanraj

Save the date, local SF/F writers (and aspiring writers) — I have to work out the details and finalize everything, but tentatively, I’m planning to host something like this on Friday, August 15th. A Day of Science Fiction & Fantasy @ The Berwyn Shops Sponsored by the Speculative Literature Foundation (www.speclit.org) 11:30 – 12:15 — […]
posted by [syndicated profile] mamohanraj_feed at 04:04pm on 14/07/2025

Posted by Mary Anne Mohanraj

Anderson Ranch, Intro to Furniture Design, Day 3, afternoon. (Part 13 of ??) Cutting the legs, skirting and cross-braces to size, sanding smooth the tabletop. I just used an 80 grit, because I didn’t feel like I needed it to be super-smooth, but you could go through several higher and higher layers of sandpaper to […]
posted by [syndicated profile] mamohanraj_feed at 03:57pm on 14/07/2025

Posted by Mary Anne Mohanraj

Anderson Ranch, Intro to Furniture Design, day 3, afternoon (part 12 of ??). After the glue-up, the scraping. That was pretty tedious, to be honest. But nice when it was done. Look, a tabletop! Then cutting the braces and skirting and legs to length on the chop saw…
posted by [syndicated profile] mamohanraj_feed at 12:34pm on 14/07/2025

Posted by Mary Anne Mohanraj

Last sale of Sunday — dad came by with three daughters and their bikes (bikes left outside the shop! wouldn’t fit in my itty bitty space!) — they were on a ride together. They decided to make a bookmark / keychain, an alphabet keychain, and a hair clip. ($8 each, 2 for $15, 3 for […]
posted by [syndicated profile] mamohanraj_feed at 08:18pm on 13/07/2025

Posted by Mary Anne Mohanraj

Quiet afternoon at the Shops; sold some things, got complimented on my dress a bunch, took some selfies. I should do computer work, but I have NO BRAIN.
posted by [syndicated profile] mamohanraj_feed at 06:05pm on 13/07/2025

Posted by Mary Anne Mohanraj

We’ve got live music at the Berwyn Shops today, and the weather is great. Grab a cold-press juice or handcrafted coffee, a fresh fruit scone, cupcake, or cookie, and enjoy the lazy summer vibes.
posted by [syndicated profile] askamanager_feed at 04:29pm on 24/07/2025

Posted by Ask a Manager

Here’s some coverage of Ask a Manager in the media recently:

I talked to the Huffington Post about people biting their coworkers. (Yes, biting.)

I talked to Business Insider about coworkers oversharing personal info that their colleagues don’t want to hear. (There’s also coverage of that article in the New York Post if the first one is paywalled for you.)

Slate’s Care and Feeding column on parenting quoted me on talking to unreasonable people as if of course they’re reasonable.

Above the Law covered the story here about the legal secretary who, on her way out, sent the partners’ wives evidence of infidelity, distributed confidential employee evaluations and communications about pay, and then raided the swag closet.

Carolyn Hax “loves” AAM. That is it, all life goals have been completed, will retire, goodbye.

The post Ask a Manager in the media appeared first on Ask a Manager.

dragoncarrion:

People who see pics of like those fucked up deep sea fish and creatures and go “omg I’m never going swimming in the ocean again 😰😰😰” calm down. They’re 5000 feet below where you are and also i went down there and none of them even knew you. Leave them alone bitch

posted by [syndicated profile] seananmcguire_tumblr_feed at 08:42am on 24/07/2025

bearcatcatbear:

bongjoonheaux:

You have to admit it’s funny

Generative AI is not capable of thinking or panicking.

GENERATIVE AI IS NOT CAPABLE OF THINKING OR PANICKING.

This chatbot received negative feedback after it wrongly predicted, based on its training data, the correct action to take.

It did what chatbots do when they get negative feedback, which is to generate a response (derived from lots of real human apologies) that will satisfy the user.

There are semantics involved in how we use the word “think.” We say computers are “thinking” all the time when no computer has ever had a “thought” in any way that resembles a human mind—a thing that remains more or less of a black box, philosophically, that we can affect and observe but whose fundamental workings are deeply unknown.

But there are no semantics involved in “panic.” “Panic” is an emotional state. The AI didn’t “panic,” it followed the same decision-making process it always uses and got the answer wrong. It wasn’t stressed out. It wasn’t surprised. That’s all absurd.

It’s lying—with the sole caveat that it isn’t even capable of knowing that it’s lying, because it is just a fancy, fancy chatbot.

But the people building and selling them and convincing people to entrust them with the power to destroy huge amounts of real human work?

Those people are ABSOLUTELY lying.

punkedsolar:

seananmcguire:

princessxombie:

seananmcguire:

Hey, so…

I am on Tumblr, like, all the time. It is part of my enclosure, and vital to my enrichment. I’m not here to make anyone uncomfortable, or to interact in ways people have asked me not to.

Things I do:

  • Check tags related to me/my work
  • Reblog things that don’t seem likely to get the OP dogpiled (you are fully welcome to critique/dislike what I do, but if you do, I will not reblog it, because that will bring out the people who would rather defend me, and no one needs that)
  • Read posts that do not trend into fanfic

Things I do not do:

  • Search my name without the #
  • Read fanfic posts or anything tagged with “speculation” or “what I think will happen” or variants thereof
  • Read anything tagged with “seanan no,” which is our agreed-upon “there may be fanfic here” tag
  • Read anything tagged with “seanan DNI” or variants thereof
  • Intentionally get people mobbed or drag them for having opinions I don’t agree with, unless they’re trying to argue that my books are encouraging child abuse or something equally upsetting

If you make jokes about me being the phantom of the Tumblr or living in the walls or whatnot, I may show up to make skittering noises and stare through the windows, because I will feel I have been summoned. If you don’t want me to show up, either don’t invoke me or put up the warding sigils when you do.

making a summoning circle of corn with a pack of Duskmourne in the middle to try and summon my favorite author and challenge her to a friendly game of magic

Be right there!

Ah, but do you remember a certain online WW game with a lunatic SOE who thought he was talking to his wrench…

Of course I do! Have you read my award-nominated bestselling book, Middlegame?

July 13th, 2025
posted by [syndicated profile] mamohanraj_feed at 05:43pm on 13/07/2025

Posted by Mary Anne Mohanraj

Anderson Ranch, Intro to Furniture Design (post 11 of ??). Day three, afternoon. After a yummy Korean lunch, the glue-up! First I took the six boards of my tabletop and tried them in different configurations, to see if I felt strongly about grain lines matching up, etc. I mostly didn’t — the poplar wood is […]
posted by [syndicated profile] mamohanraj_feed at 02:59pm on 13/07/2025

Posted by Mary Anne Mohanraj

Just realized I never posted June 17th week. Everything is a little chaotic here right now. But here, a blast from the past. The three weeks ago past. 🙂 Ask if you have questions!

Posted by Mary Anne Mohanraj

Anderson Ranch, Intro to Furniture Design, day 3 (post 10 of ??). Okay, I was getting a little lost in the lingo at this point. They set up a sled / boat, which is the contraption that the little green machine is sitting on. It felt like a lot of the woodworking process involved making […]
posted by [syndicated profile] mamohanraj_feed at 02:17pm on 13/07/2025

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