piglet: me eyeing the camera (self)
piglet ([personal profile] piglet) wrote2013-10-31 10:21 am

Some things even a pig can't stomach.

Dear The Ellington,

Sous chefs, chefs, and manager,

Two nights ago I dined in your establishment. This morning, my mouth lining, tongue and gums still hurt.

You sabotaged my meal, swapping in your housemade chicken wing Chipotle BBQ sauce for the entree's advertised Rosemary BBQ glaze. When I, after an extended and agonizing interval of attempting to attract anyone's attention -- bartender, busboy or fellow waitress (waiter having disappeared on mysterious waiter errand after my first bite) -- finally managed to alert you to the problem and request first aid in the form of emergency bread & butter & a glass of milk, you & your entire staff failed me.

When a customer says, "this dish is unacceptably spicy, please take it away & bring me EMERGENCY bread & butter & a glass of milk," please just bring them the bread and butter and milk. Stopping to slice and toast it first, however admittedly delicious, is NOT HELPING remove the pepper oils that have been eating away at my delicate mouth tissues for at least 20 minutes by now.

I resorted to licking salt off my palm, a useful tip I wish had been shared by my dining companion earlier in the interval, though I daresay neither of us expected so long a delay.

However gracious your offer, "please come back so you can taste the pork shanks made properly," I do hope you can understand that there is a certain level of trust between diner and kitchen -- that you will serve me the advertised and/or requested ingredients and that the dish as served will be fit for consumption -- that has been broken in this interaction.

Although you are indeed the closest restaurant to my residence, and seem otherwise most congenial, which should generally be enough to comprise my favorite restaurant -- says this long term Meridiana diner -- I fear you must instead list last in dining destinations whose doors I might ever consider darkening again.

Yours in helpfulness,

A disappointed foodie.

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